When I first started this blog, it was under the intention for this to be a place where women can feel safe when finding the courage to tell their story. It was to become a platform where women wouldn’t feel judged in the many phases of their life. Where women didn’t feel like they had to put on an act as if they had everything figured out, when their lives were really falling apart. This idea, this world, was born from a connection I shared with my friends after a needed tearful night.

Huddled in a circle on my bedroom floor, our heads laid on each others shoulders and hands tightly held between one another, I realized that my troubles were not mine alone. We sat and shared the images of ourselves that were never introduced into the world, that was hidden in the safety of our own company, scared to reveal that part of ourselves. We spilled the ideas of who we thought we were, and became shocked to hear that the beauty we saw in each other, we did not see in ourselves. And in that shared moment, we found comfort in knowing that all the feelings that were attacking to bring us down, weren't just after us alone.

I told myself this blog wasn’t going to be one of those “29 Ways to do this” or “5 How too’s.” That I would write posts about my raw and ugly experiences, bring up the topics that no one wants to acknowledge are there, and ultimately give women what most blogs don’t, honesty.

But I fell into the bloggers trap and got lost in putting out what was already there.

Those lists didn’t give me the shared connection I needed to feel safe. Those lists didn’t give me the courage to move past what I was going through. It was hearing others stories and knowing that someone else has gotten past the battles that I faced. And that is where I failed. I didn’t try to truly understand how I can serve my purpose, my goal, with the Glow Chapter.

But with failure comes knowledge. Knowing who you don’t want to be, knowing how you don’t want to act, can help with becoming the person you do want to become. I needed to take the time to understand myself and my blog, to see what type of relationship we needed to be in to produce the work that I dreamed of.

For as long as I can remember, writing has been my first love. It grew into a tool to pour love into myself. And as I was doing that, the love had spread to the women around me and I found myself with the Glow Chapter.

Of course, the idea of just letting my blog die came to my head plenty of times. Watching everyone else succeed in an area I know I’m good at, seeing the ideas I’ve had come to fruition for others and feeling left out, discouraged me. I didn’t think I was good enough.

But have you ever heard people say, I want to give you a better version of me? That version of myself who felt they weren't good enough, wasn’t fit to run this blog. In many areas of my life, I’ve worked hard to transform and evolve myself for the better of those around me. I became more independent to become a better daughter, more involved to become a better aunt, more open to become a better lover, and even stayed quiet and removed my own emotions to become a better listener. I needed to evolve.

And I know a lot of people who hate the idea of change. Hate the idea of changing themselves. But what if the person you are now is blocking you from your blessing? What if you needed to shed your old self to be ready for the new life you were meant to have? If all it takes is a change for the better, then wouldn’t it be worth it?

I’m not going to knock down all the other blogs out here, they are doing what’s right for them. But who is doing right for the girls who need to know they don’t have to feel ashamed for not wanting to be alone, for the girls who aren’t ready to leave their bad relationship, for those who have already given up.

I'm Back and I'm Better